yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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