This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
