I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
