Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
