Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
