dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
