You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
