I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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