Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
