No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
