omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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