glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
