Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize