chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
