Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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