you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This house was built for laser tag.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize