I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You made out with two different species that night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
