I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
