Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize