Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
