I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
