my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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