Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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