me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
