Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
