The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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