he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
