She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's not a walk of shame if you run
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
