i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
