It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
