YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
