i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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