I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize