i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
