very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
