I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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