What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
