Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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