Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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