Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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