sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
