too bad you live with your parents still
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
