I am puke
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
