Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
