Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
