mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize