wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
