How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
