I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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