Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
