If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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