it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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