There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
