It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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