you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
