I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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