I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
