So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
