How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
