loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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