reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
